SHARE ME:)

LifestyleFATHER’S DAY: DAD’S THE WORD

Sometimes it’s difficult to express to someone who has done so very much exactly what they mean to you. How do we find the words to do them justice?

Dad, papa, head of the home –  to the unsung heroes of the family… This one’s for you.

Dedicated to all the wonderful dads, father figures and male mentors out there, we wanted to say thank you. Thank you for ALL that you do. To that time when mum said no and you followed up with a swift ‘top secret yes’ or when you supplied the entertainment on rainy days, making them laugh in that belly aching way they do… Though these words don’t seem to touch the surface, just know that you are SO appreciated for everything you do and are wholeheartedly cherished in every way possible.

It’s fair to say that dads can come in many different shapes and forms, and the quiet strength, sacrifice and unwavering support they continue to bestow, generation after generation is the very reason we felt inspired to create this space, today. To mark the special occasion that is Father’s Day, we appealed to a few of our favourite influential and legendary dad figures for some pearls of wisdom and a quick chat about their unique experiences as parents…

Justin – The Little Moments Dad

What did you find was the biggest challenge about being a first time dad and how did you overcome it?

I didn’t realise how fast time flies once a baby joins the family. One of the biggest challenges wasn’t less sleep or more things to juggle, but how easy it was to miss the baby’s milestones when I wasn’t careful enough. I let busy days at the office take over, I put a lot of energy into projects which weren’t supposed to be on my priority list, before I understood that family should always come first and presence is all that matters. Not only for them but for myself. I now like to believe that I’ve learnt from my first time dad lessons and I try to spend as much time as I can with the little ones, watching their bond grow. It took a lot of introspection moments, but I’m finally there… enjoying the little moments.

 

How have you dealt with the pressures of fatherhood during COVID-19?

I won’t lie, it’s been a lot of pressure both mentally and physically. I wasn’t completely ready (but who was?!) to take on board lots of jobs with 3  kids at different ages, each one with his and her needs: my other half and I have been craft assistants, teachers, cleaners, toy organisers, teddy tea party servants, and more! And this would all take place while helping out with a newborn and working full time, so it has been intense. But when I felt outnumbered and overwhelmed, I took a break. Everyone is talking about self care and I believe it is just as important for mums as it is for dads as well.

 

What’s your favourite quote?

Presence, not presents! 🙂 This is my main go-to reminder each time a new dad comes along…

Presence, not presents! This is my main go-to reminder each time a new dad comes along…

Ibrahim – The Fine Balance Dad

How did you feel before you became a father and how do you feel now? Is there anything that you didn’t expect to feel or surprised you?

Fatherhood definitely raised a sense of awareness of self. I constantly see glimpses of myself in my daughter’s behavior and actions. The transition into being a dad has turned out to be a great equalizer in full manhood. One thing that keeps surprising me is how vulnerable I am with her, also how gentle I’ve become.

 

How do you bond with your daughter, Honor on a daily basis?

When it comes to bonding with my daughter, I’d say all three (education/sharing a meal/playtime) are major components of a healthy dynamic. Of course, keeping a fine balance is necessary before things get out of hand. It is important for the child to see the multifaceted side of the parents. My advice: find, show, and maintain a healthy environment at all times.

 

What’s your top tip for giving mum a much-needed break!?

Mom is the glue that holds our entire operation together. When it comes to her much-deserved break/time off I find it best to give her as much space as possible. Whether that’s taking my daughter out on a play date or a quick bite. Tip #1 to all dads is “mummy deserves her ME time all the time”.

 

Your favourite quote?

A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special. ― Nelson Mandela

“A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special.” ― Nelson Mandela

Omid – Cherished Memories Dad

How did you feel before becoming a father and how do you feel now? Is there anything that you didn’t expect to feel or surprised you?

Before I was a Dad, my wife, Laura & I lived on a narrow boat together for 8 years. We moved along the canals of London and every evening after work, we’d meet in a new bar or pub and we loved it!! The spontaneity was so exciting. When we found out we were expecting a baby, we decided to buy a house – it would have been near impossible to raise a baby on a narrow boat with no permanent mooring and no access to running water or electricity! Life before Frank was definitely easier, more sleep and free time! But now that I am a Dad, I just couldn’t imagine life without him. The overwhelming love that you feel for your own child is only something you can understand when you have experienced it yourself. It really is incredible, even if you are always tired and are unable to have those spontaneous date nights in pubs – the feeling of being a Dad makes up for all of that.

 

How do you bond with Frank on a daily basis?

Laura and I share the parental care of Frank. Everything from morning routines to bath time and story time. But what I love to do with Frank is to cycle. I bought a seat for the front of my bike as soon as Frank was old enough. Daily we cycle along the tracks through a local wood to our park. We sit together under the same cherry tree and share an apple and an orange and finish off with a game of ball. I know I’ll cherish these memories forever.

What’s your top tip for giving mum a much-needed break!?

My parents live in the same town, so Frank and I often cycle over to see them. We’ll spend an hour or two in the garden. Frank especially loves to explore the shed. Laura gets a little break at home and Frank gets to enjoy time with his grandparents too! My studio is also nearby, so when I’m not working from home, I’ll sometimes take Frank off to my studio for an hour, where he can explore with paints and different materials.

 

How have you dealt with the pressures of fatherhood during COVID-19?

Many families are stuck in flats with no outdoor space, some have lost their jobs. So I feel very lucky. I’ve been fortunate that my work has continued and that my wife and I have a great partnership, so although it’s been frustrating that baby classes, libraries and restaurants have closed, I remind myself of just how fortunate I am.

Anthony – The Reaching Milestones Dad

What did you find was the biggest challenge about being a first time dad and how did you overcome it?

The biggest challenge I faced being a first time dad was overcoming self doubt. Before Herbie came along, I thought being a dad was going to be easy; I had read the books, took NCT classes and googled everyday, trying to swot up on fatherhood. What surprised me was how I would constantly question every decision I made. It took a few months before I finally trusted my instincts and relaxed a little. I had imagined all the fun things we would do and pictured him reaching the milestones but I hadn’t really given much thought as to how I would react if he had a high temperature or if he hadn’t reached that milestone and other kids his age had. Looking back, my instincts were there, they were just clouded by fear of doing the wrong thing. Speaking to other dads really helped as it turns out self doubt is par for the course! Being a new dad is a little bit scary but also the most amazing thing you’ll ever do.

 

What’s your top tip for giving mum a much-needed break!?

Watching my wife Claire being a mum reminds me of that phrase about a swan looking calm and graceful on the water but what’s hidden underneath are those legs frantically kicking away. She will let a cup of tea go cold or miss a meal because the twins need attention, she’ll be thinking about inoculation appointments while potty training Herbie. There’s never a moment’s peace for mums –  even when they’re all in bed, her mind will be whizzing away, thinking about her children’s needs. My tip for giving mums a break is to not wait until they ask for a bit of mum time. Take control and run her a bath, light some candles, pour a glass of wine and put Friends on the laptop. Tell her to have a lay in and take the kids out to the park so the house isn’t noisy while she sleeps. Massage those weary shoulders, rub those tired feet but most of all remind her that the kids are ok and having such a loving mum is everything they need – that it’s ok to relax.

 

 

 

 

 

No comments yet.

Post a comment

More stories like this

BACK
To TOP